VICES to ease grieving...

OOOH..I have been a bad kitten in the past 24 hours...

The grieving process is a unique thing...everyone does it differently.

I woke up yesterday, wondering what I would do with my day. Mom wanted to stay at home alone and relax, so that left me with an entire day of time to fill (it was too hot outside to work on the house).

So..the initial decision was...RETAIL THERAPy. With a fresh paycheck which included a bonus, I was off...I started out thrifting, found some things for Potamus (the nephew)...then I hit the craft store. Got a collage photo frame, and a cute little scrapbook for Potamus' pictures.

Next? THE MALL. It sucks, when you have a few bucks..NOTHING FITS AND EVERYTHING IS ON SALE! Even SHOES! I realized I havent exercised for about 3 weeks 'cause of dad, but DAMN! Big boobs arent a plus either with today's fashions :( Meant for flat chested skinny chics! I didnt even really like what I got at VS - I had a $10 certificate I had to spend in July (like I would let that one go to waste).

So I shopped for 5 hours, and didn't spend hardly anything - yeah, that part is a plus.

Came home, napped...rode my bike (omg, that IS exercise! yay!). Watered the veggies and picked more tomatoes. Took a hot bubble bath (le sigh). Made myself a cocktail of Capt Morgans Silver and coke and sat down in front of the TV. Turned on "Terminator" and put together the collage photo frame..so cute!

AT that point, I was deciding if I wanted to do something I hadnt done in years...go out alone. So I got all whored up and did it. Bingo, my fave band is playing. I'm so glad I did..sat next to a nice gal from GA at the bar...and the Plumber came in (stop groaning). I just wanted to talk to him, he can be an alright guy every now and then.

Ultimately, he came over to my house...he let me cry on his chest (he's way taller than me)...and he made me feel better..he was actually real sweet, reminded me of why I absolutely adored him for so long...before I knew it, it was like 4 AM.

Off to bed..AND SOME OF THE HOTTEST SEX I've had in a long, long time...Good lord, the man listened to me for once when I told him what I wanted...hot hard kisses, pussy licking...sweat....gawd.

Even though I only got a few hours of sleep, yesterday/last night was so what I needed. I'm just now having my morning coffee..I think I'll weed the front flowerbed when I'm done and chill out and relax later...too tired to do much else! :)

Dad's obituary....bet you've never read one like this!

D*** G***, 74, passed away at his home in *****, with his wife by his side, after a brief and dignified battle with cancer.

Although he was in pain, he was quick with a joke until the very end.

A native of Brantford, Ontario, D**** spent four decades in the muffler business. He began his career with a gas station in Newark, then owned the KarGuard muffler shop in Lancaster from 1962 to 1979, and the Muffler Man shop from 1983 to 1987. At various times he owned muffler shops in Chillicothe, Athens, and Logan. D*** and his family also served up tasty ice cream cones and chilidogs as owner of the Yummy Shoppe on Broad Street in the late 1970s.

In his later years, he became an avid computer geek, poker player and armchair philosopher.

He was a member of the Moose Lodge, where he enjoyed many Monday night euchre games, and a member of St. Mary of the Assumption church in Lancaster.

His family and friends will remember his adventurous spirit and inventive mind. His varied talents included amateur accordian player and maker of the world’s worst spaghetti sauce. He built and raced his own stock cars, and traveled with family and friends to more NASCAR races and middle-of-nowhere fishing spots than they can count. His sense of humor was legendary, and he was able to elicit laughs even in times of adversity.

D**** joined the US Army in 19** and served in Korea.

He is sorely missed by his wife of 39 years, V**** his daughters Molly *** and D**** , his son-in-law and poker buddy E*****; and his 3-month-old grandson R*****, who will unfortunately not remember first-hand how special his grandfather was.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Dennis’ name to FairHoPe Hospice.

Dad passed away today...

Dad passed this morning at 8:13 pm. Neither my sister nor I made it in time to be by his side. It was peaceful, and I do not believe he suffered at all.

My sister wrote a kick ass obit, so I will post it here sometime in the next few days.

Thank you to everyone that has been supportive to me during his brief battle with cancer.

Please keep my family in your prayers.

Just an update..

Hello faithful blog readers, time for an update on life.

Dad is very sick to put it mildly. The Hospice nurse told us yesterday it might only be days. The reality is finally setting in for sis and I - we're starting to cry randomly and sometimes at the drop of a hat. The people at Hospice are truly wonderful, and its a wonderful organization. They were there for grandma and grandpa, and now dad - their employees are angels, and their support and honesty with our family is appreciated and priceless and gentle at the same time. They don't "sugarcoat" the situation, yet they deliver information and news with tact and heart. Don't ever hesitate to use their services if there is a time when your family needs them.

http://www.hospicenet.org/

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Although I am functioning at work and seem to be staying on top of things, I am distracted. I cried off and on all day Monday, I hate having people see me upset. I guess I try so hard to put up a front and be the tough girl, when I am really crumbling inside. I had a doctor's appt too - one of my stitches from my melanoma was poking through and hurting (its right on my bra line) - the excision months ago required layers of stitches beneath the skin - apparently they are supposed to dissolve - but lucky me, has something about me where that doesnt always happen. This is the 2nd time I've had to go back and have one pulled out. Also had another biopsy - I sure hope that comes back OK because I do not need to be dealing with cancer AGAIN on top of everything else. Not now please!

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Because of all the freaking stress, I asked my sister to come down last night and go to the Art Walk with me. Basically, for 2 weeks every summer, our town gets a dose of culture and the fine arts. YAY for that! So what is the ARt Walk? They close off several blocks downtown, and various businesses feature artists from all over. There is food and some places have FREE BOOZE. DOUBLE YAY! My hair salon had margaritas and pink lemonade/vodka. It was a gorgeous night after the sun went down - there were also musical artists in some of the venues, and a live band at the Bandstand. Even though our thoughts were on dad, we still had fun. Sis hadnt eaten all day, so watching her stuff finger sandwiches in her face like they were filet mignon was a treat. She's a lightweight drinker too so she was tipsy in no-time :) We went to the bar afterwards (as it was strategically located within the blocked off area) - and played pool with a hottie and drank some more. We finished the night with greasy burgers from Rally's, and part of the move "Fatal Attraction" - it was FEAR FRIDAY on A&E TV (I think), ha.

Tonight Wynona (sp?) Judd is in concert, but I'll be at mom and dad's..there's a big shindig at the dam where she lives, with a hog roast and food - but not sure I"ll actually get to eat there, as I'm just going to see dad.

Here's the site for information about our dose of culture:

http://www.lanfest.org/

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My garden is coming along nicely! I've picked 2 banana peppers, and if I wander out there today I'll have my 1st big tomato (the cherry tomatoes are starting to turn too). The corn is starting to form ears, and the zucchini is plugging right along. Some of the pics I took 2 weeks ago are attached to this post. MMM..nothing like fresh food with no weird chemicals and shit on it! YAY!!

Well, that's it for now..I'm hungry and need to work on an order that's way overdue :(

AAAAAH!!!

Son of a bitch!

I have poison ivy on my arm, and a sticker (at least thats what we called them as kids) stuck in my finger, and I can't get it out!!!!

Boo hiss.........

:(

It wont be long now..maybe only days :(

Give my family and I strength to survive. Please.