I WANT HIM TO HURT

I want him to hurt. Just 1/10th of the hurt he's caused me.

I want him to feel loss. I want him to feel guilt, and shame.

I want him to miss me. I want him to show up on my doorstep so I can drop kick him.

Why do I hurt? How did I let this happen? So much was wrong, always.
1. He didnt like to eat pussy.
2. He didnt believe in foreplay.
3. "No" never meant no to him.
4. He never showed affection towards me, like holding hands, or cuddling.
5. The few times he ever did plan something in advance with me, he would either cancel or just not show up.
6. He is an alcoholic.
7. He is selfish.
8. I think he is still unemployed.
9. He always tried to get me to buy his booze and cigarettes (and I finally started refusing).
10. He hardly ever bought me drinks.
11. He never, ever took me out to dinner
12. He never met my family, and I never met his (not MY choice)
13. He lied - habitually
14. He stole from me (but never admitted it- I know it was him)
15. He never made me feel special in any way. I was just "convenient"
16. He never bought me flowers.
17. He disrespected me when I did have the nerve to go on a date with someone else, and said horrible things to me.
18. In 2 years we never just "hung out" and ate a pizza or watched a movie together.
19. He was never "there" when I needed someone to lean on.

I'm sure I'll be adding to the list.