Just randsom stuff...and DAD

I'm typing in gray today, because it reflects my mood of late. I've been sad, and pissy and grouchy - the stresses of every day life these days are really taking a toll on me, physically and emotionally. My dad's terminal illness, work, trying to majorly overhaul the exterior of the house (paint - 100% done by me from start to finish), money, gas prices (I drive 60 miles each day) - its no wonder I'm pretty much a wreck.

Dad is "holding his own." The vicadin isnt working, so now he's on methadone for pain. He has pancreatic cancer. They just started him on the methadone a few days ago, but have already had to increase the dosage. He is jaundiced..he looks like a zombie - like one of those people that have been bitten and are starting to "turn"..I know that's a weird analogy, but when you grow up watching horror flicks like that, it doesnt seem so weird. His personality hasnt changed.he's still funny and sassy, but I know the end is very near...and I do now know how to deal with this. I am emotionally unprepared and don't think there is anything I can do to "get" prepared.

Why do people have to die? I mean, why can't we all stay young forever..and be a happy family forever. Go fishing, watch NASCAR together from the infield of Daytona...collect shells on the beaches of Florida together...why do people have to get sick and suffer? It isnt fair.

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ASSHOLE ALERT: "The Plumber"....as referenced in previous posts..gosh, what does one say. An eternal asshole, self centered. I had a moment of weakness last weekend and we hooked up. Guess I needed a nice big one and a hot sweaty guy on top of me. Oh well, such is life. Well...this past Friday night...3 am..he's ringing my doorbell...tapping on my window...of course, I was asleep. I ignored him. Not in the mood to be awakened, especially for a booty call...yesterday, I noticed he STOLE MY BROKEN CEMENT GOOSE off the front porch. I am pissed! That goose was my grandmas - the grandma that died last year...it is the only thing I wanted after she died, because she loved that darned thing..loved dressing it up - I'd buy her clothes for it...Yeah, its broken..but only because I havent figured out what adhesive I need to put it back together. I want my @#$# goose back. I sent him a text message telling him to bring it back and why, and it has yet to appear...SO NOT FUNNY (ok, the premise is kinda funny, but the fact it was grandmas makes it NOT!).

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So, I've been working on the house here and there every weekend...getting it ready to paint. I've powerwashed half of it..what a @Q#$ chore. I've picked the color (its called "silver charm"). I will have white trim, not sure of the accent color yet. Powerwashing is so messy. Ick. But there is great satisfaction in DIY! I did get 6 windows replaced - THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY CUSTOMERS, AND UNCLE SAM. Without you, I would not have had the cash for this! I still had to borrow $600 from my sister, but regardless..the windows are in and I'm happy :) So nice to have real Energy Star windows. The OLD windows were the original from the house, from 1963. Yeah, they were awful. I'd like to get 3 more before winter (about $750), but I dont see how that will happen). I have taken some pictures of the house as a "work in progress", but they're still on the camera. I will definitely post them in the near future.

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Guess I'll end this entry for now, I need to take some pictures for some on-line orders that are behind. I havent felt "sexy" lately, so its hard to take pictures when you feel fat, LOL. So I'm gonna take them today before I start stuffing me face! HAAAA!!!

Much love to all.