My Private Part Died Today....

My private part died today.

An old man, Mr Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if therewas anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad.

"Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences."

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall likethat. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas."

But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died." " Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"asked Nurse Tracy."

Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing."

5 FT 2, Eyes of Blue

Well, not really....Here's are some tidbits about me :)

I'm 5 FT 6, eyes of blue.
Hair: Red with blonde streaks.
Boobs: Huge, 38C or 36D depending on bra style.
Feet: 7 1/2 or 8, depending on shoe style and brand.
Butt: Small and firm.
Panty Size: Medium or Large - I tend to buy them large if I'm gonna keep them, because I hate tight undies!
Weight: More than a buck, less than 2.
Favorite color: I don't have one. I like black, red, purple, gold, silver, white, olive green.
Favorite pattern: Camo, all animal prints.
Least favorite body parts: Feet and neck.
Body part I like: I don't have one. I'm my own worst critic.
Favorite Car: Mustang GT.
Favorite Sport: There is only one, NASCAR.

That's all for today folks, I'll post more stuff about me soon!

Happy Hump Day!

TGIF - AND I'M A BUNNY KILLER

Howdy boys and girls!

TGIF! What an insane week at work. Our section is relocating to another floor. So of course, that = CHAOS. I could hardly work. Gave it up at 130, and decided to move the rest of my shit. Well, when I was done, I found out the boss said we could all leave an hour early if our work station was clean and ready for the next person. SHAZAAAM! I'm so outta there!

I'm gonna go ride my bike after I eat some Cheerios. I'm starving.

I am also a bunny killer. I ran over one at the end of my street this morning on the way to work. I slowed down and tried to miss it, but the fucker ran right towards the car. THUMP. I shed a tear as I screeched "OH MY GAWD". R.I.P wittle bunny wabbit :( I'm sorry :(

Tomorrow I'm going to the Casino with some of the ladies from work. I"m so stoked. I've never had a little road trip like this, and I love love love my lady friends. Typical story, between husbands and boyfriends and college and life, we've never all been able to get together at the same time. I'm so looking forward to doing nothing but HAVE SOME DAMNED FUN!

I text'd the plumber today and told him we need to do it more. Why? Because its making me skinny. If we can do it more than once or twice a week, I might be a size 7 by July. HOORAY for SEX CALORIES...Ha!

Well, the bike calls..so ta ta for now!

YAHOO MESSENGER STATUS

Hi!

You'll now be able to see my Yahoo Messenger status at this URL:

http://www.coderedhead.net/me.html

Hope to chat with you soon, and perhaps even schedule a group session!

Downfall of the CUNT and WHY AM I SO LAME!

Damnit. I need to pull my head out of my ass and GET A BACKBONE.

Edited because, he apologized, and I put my foot down. Plus, if he ever found his way here, he'd be deeply hurt, I do believe, and I don't want that at all.

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Downfall of the cunt:

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
Unknown source

CHEAP BLOWJOBS

So something insane happened at work recently, and I just have to share!

I work in a building with a couple thousand employees....a complete mixed bag of individuals. Young, old, obese, skinny, deaf, mute, blind, lazy, overachievers....etc. So, about a week ago... a mass email goes out stating that there is a "no solicitation" policy. Of course, the policy was outlined in some detail. I pretty much ignored it - figuring someone was pushing their Avon sales a bit too far or something on their work time. BUT NO!

Are you ready for this?

Apparently a blonde, deaf girl had been dishing out blow jobs for $5 a pop to the higher ups on-site (higher up as in making over $60K a year and in "influential positions") - and the best part, SHE WAS KEEPING TRACK OF ALL OF IT IN AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET ON HER COMPUTER. This all came to light when she was actually CAUGHT GIVING A BJ IN ONE OF THE STAIRWELLS. (frightening because I always take the stairs!)

She got shitcanned - and the dish is what's gonna happen with the spreadsheet - from what I"ve been of the "higher ups", they need to pay for oral sex...LOL. Is that not just crazy!

I swear, the building is its own Melrose Place.

HOPPY EASTER, bunnies!

Hoppy Easter everybody!

MMM..I so cant wait to dig into some caramel Cadbury eggs and marshmallow peeps later! (oh, and there's that whole easter dinner thing, ham, green bean casserole, mashed taters..MMMM).

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Life has been umm..weird lately. I went back on the pill because I started banging the HOT HOT HOT plumber again intermittently- gosh, now there's some drama in itself. I really don't know what to say, I could write forever but I won't wanna, so I'll just let it be for now. I just wish he wasn't so fucking hot and mean in the sack. That boy can FUCK.

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Our section at work is finally relocating. Gee, we were only supposed to move in December. So we all scoped out our new cubes (how exciting is that!). THANK GOD I'm away from the STINKY HEN (the fat ass that wont shut the fuck up), and that I dont have to sit next to "the other" STINKY - the woman that hasn't seen a shower in about 30 days. I am however, way too close to STUPID - the dumb blank blank bitch who wants everyone to do her work for her. Let me tell you one thing. If that cow says one word to me, I'll tell her to do her own damned work, and to go back to her own fucking cube and actually do something. I wanna smack the bitch.

On the upside, I'm next to all my girlies - V, C and H - we all started together almost one year ago and have become quite close. I'm super excited, we're all going on an overnight gambling trip in a couple of weeks - its so hard for us to all get together, because all of them have SO's and school and stuff. It will be terrific!

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Mom and I are officially making plans to vacation at Hilton Head SC. We've never been there. Both of us however, have an extreme love of the ocean. Finding a place to stay has become stressful. Its so expensive. I have no idea how Im' gonna pay for it. I'm gonna have to run a huge auction/s or something. I havent been on a vacation for years, and I'm way overdue. With the passing of both grandparents and other associated dramas, both of us really need an escape to another place. I think I won't be able to sit still!

Well, that's all luvs..have a wonderful holiday!