Hi everybody!

Hey everyone, I know its been a couple of weeks.

Wow. Life has been difficult - I miss me grandpa a lot. My mom seems to be doing OK, I think because she insists on keeping herself overly busy. Mom will be OK, she has coping skills, unlike her sister who copes with alcohol and weed (I still swear she was born of alien parents or something).

Now we have the messy stuff to deal with - the estate. So far so good though - we've decided that we are going to keep every single possession possible within the family - furniture, vases, grandpa's bowling pin from when he bowled his near perfect game of 299 - these are the things that mean a lot to us - that will make us smile every time we look at them, for as long as we're on this planet and not with him.

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On another note, wow did I take a spill about a week ago ! I am eternally clumsy.

Its not unusual for me to have to get up in the middle of the night to take a leak. Well, it was about 4 am...I stumbled out of bed (you certainly dont want to open your eyes all of the way, and definitely not BOTH of them - or you might have a harder time going back to sleep) - so, I take about 2 steps from the bed...and BAM. I slipped on a pair of boxers and tripped on a shoe (I dont know which one came first, it happened so quickly) - and DOWN I WENT. I fell backwards..landed on my right hip on the HARD WOOD floor. I somehow managed to do something to my LEFT arm though. Gosh...it wasn't pleasant. My wrist was tingling...my hip hurting. I thought "eek, this is gonna leave a mark." Surprisingly, I didnt bruise much - but I do believe I may have injured my left shoulder somehow - it still hurts! I cant imagine what I' did to it - I keep hoping it will just stop hurting, but alas, it hasnt yet. If it isnt any better in a week I suppose I'll have to get it checked out. Just what I need more doctors visits!

Speaking of health, my tummy/abdomen is still hurting. I've been on Nexium for about 2 months now, and I'm not any better. I'm sure next time I ask for free samples (I cant afford the prescription, even with good insurance), they'll want to see me - bastards. I just dont think the true problem has been uncovered. I'm a bit f rightened again - what is wrong with me? So many people go mis-diagnosed, and die from it. I'm too young for this shit!

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Mom treated me to dinner last night at Texas Roadhouse. Man it was good. WE lucked out - that place is always packed (I hate lines, so I dont much like to eat out on the weekends) - well, the wait was 55 + minutes! Yeah right, I"ll just be a shriveled pile of flesh by that time - the hostess announced there was seating at the bar - would you believe no one jumped at that? SO WE DID! We ditched about 40 people just because we were OK with sitting at the bar, watching the NCAA basketball tourneys. Yeah, that was a tough one. NOT! We both had prime rib (delicious), salad..I had a banana/strawberry margarita...MMMM...Such a nice little evening out with me mom...I just love her so much!

Well, I"m done yapping for now... :) Happy Sunday! And of course, go Jimmie Johnson, #48~

The hardest days of my life are here...

Hi...

Something terrible has happened. 2 days ago, my grandpa passed away. You may recall, in July, my grandma passed away. Now, both of my mothers parents have moved on. Grandma and grandpa were married for 60 years. Now they can be together again. That is the only comfort I find in this. Otherwise, I am a wreck. I have never lost anyone this close to me before. The only funerals I remember are, of course, grandmas (and I wasnt close to her) - and that is it. Their son died when I was in the 8th grade, but I remember nothing.

Grandpa has had multiple battles with cancer - prostate and bladder, and won. This time, the bladder cancer returned, and spread to his lungs, spine and bone. We only found out because he complained his back was hurting (this was in late January, early February). He had an MRI, and the doctor saw something suspicious and took a biopsy. She called it "small cell cancer" or something like that, which apparently is how you know that its spread from somewhere else.

At that time, grandpa was doing well - still woodworking, going to church, dinners with the family, visiting his brother...then the radiation started. The plan was to do 10 days in a row - the hope would be that he would live 6months to a year or more, with little pain. Well that shit backfired. He wasnt strong enough to tolerate the radiation, and he stopped eating. Basically he became anorexic, per the doctor. A few weeks ago, we were then told he might have a few weeks to live. Then earlier this week, it became 24-48 hours. What a total shock. My mom, her sister and brother were with him round the clock, and my sister and I and her husband visited every night. I cant believe how he deteriorated. IT was so quick. Hospice was called in. When I visited Wed night, we knew it would be soon - that he would probably not make it until the priest could come Thursday morning to give him the sacrament of the sick. He passed away about 4am, with his children by his side.

Grandpa was a WW2 veteran. He served in the Navy, he was a cook. He had some of the most amazing stories! (some of them mom really didnt wanna hear, they were awesome - about ladies at port, etc..ha!). I've never met a more wonderful man. I believe he should be a Saint! He was a cemetery caretaker most of his life, and selflessly gave comfort to those who needed it, year after year. Money never mattered - he was the kindest, most gentle soul. Always thinking of others, never ever cared about himself - everyone else came 1st. He was a wonderful father, and grandfather and brother and husband.

Grandad, I love you..and I miss you so much already.