I had a date last night!

..and it wasn't the plumber (because he would never ask me to go anywhere with him - le sigh). Anyhoo, weird things happen. Someone I haven't seen for a couple of years showed up on my front porch the other night...yep, just showed up! We'll refer to him as "Cowboy J". I've known him for about 7 years - and he's been dating this gal for about that length of time. Well, they split. It seems like whenever people break up, I'm the 1st stop (funny, because I'm hardly a slut! Ha!).

Anyhoo, he said "I went left when I shoulda went right" - People always seem to realize they've made a mistake by letting me go...when it's too darned late for me to give a shit. The extent of our history is simple - he was a bouncer at one of my hangouts. We'd always converse, hug - one night we did make out - but he totally blew me off soon after, for that other gal. Whatever. Life goes on!

So, he asked me out - this was Wed. And I said YES. I decided that day (which is what makes this even more bizarr-o) that the plumber was never going to get his shit together and that I was going to keep all of my options open. I took it as a sign that I should do it..so I did. Of course, true to form - I really wanted to back out - but I didnt have his number so I had to go. I was even hoping that he'd stand me up (how fucked up is that), but he was even 5 minutes early!

So, we went to this amazing horse farm:

http://www.thespottedhorseranch.com/

He works there on the weekends - and they had barrell racing last night. Well, it was really cool! The horses were beautiful (I love to look at them, smell them, pet them - but not ride them - that's another story). I got to spend time with a horse that was born EARLIER THAT DAY. What an amazing little animal! The sad part is, the mom (Princess) died during birth, and they had to bury her later :(

They also had these little critters that I just wanted to "eat up" (not literally you sicko!) - BARBADOS SHEEP! There were babies...they were so little and adorable!

I had a good time, but man did I get dirty for being a spectator - it hasnt hardly rained around here in a good month :(

Here's the really jacked up part - the part that makes me, me - and will never change. I'm with this attractive guy who's real sweet..having a reasonably good time..and all I can think about IS THE PLUMBER, and how I'd rather be with him. It was ridiculous, and I hate myself for it. I never want who I should and who's good to me..I always want the jackass loser who doesnt realize what he's got in front of him.

I came home, only gave "J" a goodnight hug (I wasn't/ain't feeling ANY spark at all this time)...took a bath, and went to bed..hoping I'd get that late night call from the Plumber. I did get the call, of course, 3 fucking A.M. He wanted me to drive 35 minutes to come see him where he was...told me he missed me (I havent seen him in about 2 weeks)..I said "you dont miss me that much or you'd come to me." See, what the hell am I thinking!!!! I should walk away! Someone please hit me over the head and knock some sense into me!