a Hot Boy - Box of rocks anyone?

So last night, I am trying to take naughty photos for BABESINPANTYLAND.COM. It was one of those nights where I couldnt take a hot photo to save my life! I was so mad!! I was just about to cry and give up, when DING DING DING, the doorbell rang :) It could only be one person (well, it could have been the 100 year old stalker that bought my truck last weekend, but I figured he wouldnt be ringing the doorbell 50x in a row). It was my girl "K", and her new beau that she met on FARMERSONLY.COM. ( I so need to sign up!). They were here to bring me food (SWEET), and to kidnap me to a local bar. I put up a fight, then caved because they refused to go without me! Who am I to ruin someone's date? Amazingly, with about 20 minutes of effort, I looked rather tasty :)

We arrive (the 1st of the month is always a good time to go - all the welfare people just got paid, so there's lots of 80's hair and missing teeth action). We sit down, and HOLY SHIT, there is the hottest young piece of man booty I have seen in MONTHS, maybe years, in this town. He was SOOO my type. He had on his Carhart (spelling?) work jacket, work boots, tight jeans. I couldnt keep my eyes off of him. He was really young though, but since he was in there drinking it up - making him at least 21, I thought - what the hell - he's legal, and that's enough for me to make out with him! (I still have yet to have a one night stand - did I just admit that?) I decided he resembled Jimmie Johnson - Fuckin' A!). I sat there, in a daze, thinking of 100 different ways to violate him. Of course, since I am a babe, he ends up at our table. That is where the fantasy ENDED. I'm not kidding, as soon as he opened his mouth, it was all over. "K" said, "she thinks you look like Jimmie Johnson." He actually said, "Jimmy Johnson from Bremen?" WHAT? That did NOT just happen. No dipshit, JIMMIE JOHNSON FROM NASCAR, who else! The man could not form a coherent sentence, and if he tried, it was some garbled mass of English that was unrecognizable. He was trying to tell some joke from Larry the Cable Guy, and I didnt understand the words coming out of his mouth! I was so disappointed! Hell my friend's date had to tell us what he was saying!!! I dont think he was drunk either, just not very bright for a 26 year old plumber/horse "somethin'" from these parts (since I couldnt understand him all I got about the horse gig was the word "horse." LOL).

Regardless, he kept coming back to the table. Man I tried to make sense of him. I think he was real sweet, just not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Ultimately, he did invite me to hang out at his "camper with him sometime" - and he gave me his phone number. Sorry sweet young thing, I just can't bring myself to call you. In the end, I thought he might be fun to swap spit with, but about the time I decided that, he was walking out the door with a woman that was old enough to be his mom - perhaps twice-over. DOH!