Prized Possession..MISSING!!!

Son of a bitch..I'm alone in the house tonight and thought I'd have some..err.."fun"....I CANT FUCKING FIND MY VIBRATOR! I've had to start hiding it since I don't live alone now, but I'll be damned if it's where I've been putting it!!!! where in the hell could it have gone!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Mother Trucker WTF!

Good lord. Tonight sucks!

I am afraid to ride my bike at the park anymore! Every time I go there its DRAMA CENTRAL!

Last week, some poor dude started having seizures at the shelter house - and I had to ride my bike like Lance Armstrong to catch up to the police cruiser on the other side of the lake so they could get help. Thankfully they were there in the 1st place. It was scary!

Tonight, I go there..I make one rotation of the pond, and this 80 year old guy STARTED HITTING ON ME when I stopped to take a swig of my water!!! I shit you not! He said "you look like a nice lady" - Umm..is that why you're looking at my boobs? He starts telling me about how he plays pool AT THE SENIOR CENTER all of the time...and how he'd like to teach me...blah blah blah! He had me cornered for 10 minutes!!!! I already take a back route to the park because every time I would ride past this one welfare apartment, some jerk would start cat calling at me - what part of "i'm just trying to exercise" makes you think its OK to do any of this crap! Leave me the fuck alone! I"m not trying to hook up! I"m trying to lose 10 lbs!!!!

Now I'm pissy because I cant log onto Literati at yahoo..I just wanted to play some scrabble, and every fucking time I'd try and get in, my internet would freeze, then shut down....5 times in a fucking row!

I'm irritated because I was taking a test (2nd part of an interview for a great job), and I thought I was ready to send it off...I started looking at my answers again...then 2nd guessing them..and ended up sitting here cursing and thinkingI am a dumbass who forgot everything I learned in college. I decided to go with my 1st instincts and send it "as is". Cross your fingers, it would be a super job.

Its just not a good night!

Up to speed

First, let me apologize. If you've emailed me and I havent replied, its not cause I dont love you ('cause I do), it's 'cause I'm in one of my "funks" and can't my ass in gear to do anything.

I NEED A JOB! Everything centers around that. I hope to hear today about an accounting position for Monday, and I really want a second interview with a company I met with last week (it is my dream job!). I am sitting here, my heart beating a mile a minute, waiting for something majorly great to happen. I LOATHE not working. I feel so worthless.

On a more positive note, today I received a wonderful gift!!!

One of the finest men on the planet apparently thinks I'm pretty special! He is an incredible friend - and I could write volumes about him :) The arrival of the TV officially completes the basement remodel - I'll take pictures when I can, since it's now the residence of my sister (D) and her husband (E) since Hurricane Katrina. I am an extremely lucky young lady.

Saturday mom, sis and I went to the movies - we saw the 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. I highly recommend this flick! Its hilarious from start to finish and has a great message. When its out on DVD, it's so mine! We also went to the Twig 17 book sale..all books 25 cents! Man did sis score..she got 2 boxes of vintage decorating books (the 70's rock) for $9!!!! I looked through some of them and it gave me a huge bug to redecorate a room or two :) HMMMM...

Well, I need to go take a bath now so Im not stinky AND sad!

IWA Wrestling on a Friday Night!

Yeah baby..talk about an experience...and a great time!

So my sister has vowed to drag my ass out of the house, and turn me into a social butterfly. I admit, I am resistant..but damnit, she is right once again - I need to do this. I let my shyness and social phobias get the best of me week after week - night after night - hell, year after year!

Friday night, at our beloved county fairgrounds...there was an IWA Wrestling match. See the link below (You've got to if you are to understand!)

http://www.iwawrestling.com

Sis has been to some of the big time matches..ya know, the ones on TV..WWF, etc. Guess she thought I should start out small. I picked out my best wifebeater, a Wonder Woman black logo tank from Hot Topic. It was her, me, my bro in law, and my best friend and her son and his friend.

O M G...let me tell you, we had the best time ever. It was so hokey! There were only about 50 people there, but we would have had fun if there were 500. The main attraction was "VADER" - the scary looking dude on the front page of the website.

So we joined in, taunting and yelling .. (I cant wait to share the pics with you - they're on sis' camera right now though, so please be patient). After the match, they announced the wrestlers would be at a local bar..sis and I looked at each other and said "we're so there!" So an hour later, there we are...and ZACH AVERY, the ALPHA MALE and champion, and the Promoter were sitting at our table having drinks with us...we had a great time! WE SHOWED THEM OUR BOOBIES too...he he..SSSSh...I so wanted to pounce on Zach..(my god that man is built - the pictures on the site are really crappy..but nonetheless, there are a couple of them there-he's on the front page and under "superstars", at the bottom) but he had to leave to take Vader home..so we're saying goodbyes to all of them..VADER (this man is HUGE..he looks like a tick ready to pop...and he has to be a walking heart attack)....decides my sister is a complete goddess..he wouldn't let go of her...and then he tried to french kiss her!!!! She had a hell of a time convincing him that she's married...talk about entertainment to the max!

That is the summary of the evening...I know you'll completely and totally enjoy the photos when you see them!!

Dumpster Divers - GONE TOO FAR!!!!

OH my lord! Let me just say, some people have a hell of a lot of NERVE!

Today is trash day. Of course, I hauled everything out to the curb last evening. There was more than usual, given I cleaned out the basement really well and the garage too. It really just amounted to a lot of extra big boxes.

I was up late, and decided to go to bed a bit after 1 am. I'm not kidding you..as soon as I turned the lights out, this guy had pulled his truck up to my trash heap....I completely understand the divers that see a nice table, etc., and stop to pick it up and give it a new home..but this guy was a piece of work. Not only did he pick up the table I had out there, but he was out there for 20 minutes..WITH A FLASHLIGHT...going through EVERY CAN, BOX, ETC.!!!! Oddly enough, I had thrown out some magazines too - and for some reason, I pulled off the back covers and took the order forms out before I did it...I have NEVER done that in my life...weird, eh? I was just about to call the police on this guy 'cause I was so freaked out by him. If he would have opened any of the actual bags, I would have done it in an instant. I completely understand how identity theft happens.

and THEN (you knew that was coming)....this morning I get up to grab a drink of water...and there's a little old guy backed up to my pile....he's running off with these metal pole things I had put out there - I dont know what they were, but they were in the garage, and in my way. Yes, its pure daylight.

AND YET THEY STRIKE AGAIN!!!! 15 minutes after the cute little old man runs off.....2 fat-midwestern trailer chics are out there...pulling my bags out the cans, poking around!!!!!

I am pretty sure the only thing left for the trash men are the rotten potatoes (its my salvation that at least the rummagers had to smell that nastiness while they were picking....ha ha)...

I am just appauled by the flashlight guy last night....and let me tell you, the back of his pickup truck was FULL...in fact, OVERFLOWING WITH HIS HAUL!!! And the nappy buffet queens from this morning? What did they really expect to find underneath the trash bags...gold? I mean, come on!!!!! The only good thing is that they just might be keeping some stuff out of our landfills...

However, it is now my mission to put something extremely gross and rotten in my trash cans from this day forward....Hmmm..there's never a shortage of used kitty litter around here...how about some rotten onions...my evil mind is spinning out of control!!!!! MUAAAAAAAHHH

a TOUGH week...

Hello all. Sorry for the extended absence from my blog. Life is just plain NUTSO!!!

Well, D & E (how sis and her man shall be referenced from now on), are in Vermont. They left Monday night to visit his parents...and you know what? I FLIPPIN' MISS THEM! A LOT! They wont be back until Monday...sniff sniff.

E bought a rifle before they left, so they can be armed when they go back to Nola. I must say, it is an impressive looking piece of machinery. They took a shooting lesson together Monday afternoon..I would have loved to have seen that - I have a feeling D came out on top - I cant wait to hear about it! When they return from Vermont, they plan to make a very quick trip to Nola to get what they can from their house. We're talking 48 hours TOTAL...that is driving from Ohio to there, grabbing stuff, and coming back. That will be a mini-marathon!! They heard from a contact in the city that if you arrive at the National Guard checkpoint very early, like at dawn, and shmooze them with cookies and stuff, they will let you in long enough to get your stuff... The goal is to retrieve family heirlooms and a few other sentimental things (including Violet the Stray Cat), and get the hell out. They'll probably go back in a couple of months for the rest. How do they know there's anything there? A friend did a drive-by and found their house relatively UNDAMAGED...no water, no storm damage (at least none immediately visible from the street). How crazy is that?

On my end, the temporary job was a complete bust. I am old, and lame. I couldnt handle it. I have a new respect for ANYONE that works behind the scenes in a factory, warehouse, you name it. Those people work their asses off. Don't get me wrong, I always knew they did, but never did I imagine the stress on their bodies! I hurt from HEAD TO TOE. I found muscles that I'm pretty sure weren't there until this week! And my feet? They feel like someone hit them with a sledgehammer. All I can say in my defense is that at least I tried to do it...I tried really hard. I am just destined to be a pretty face and a sparkling personality behind a computer with great office skills....

Dang, I have a migraine today too...oh..and PMS! ARGH!!!!!

AAAhhhh...Siblings!

I am peeing my pants.."Woo" aka "Sis" aka "D" did my laundry..all my white socks are now PINK!

Guess its a good thing I dig pink.

Ha!

Stop the Insanity! (that is CATS!)

OMG..I am about to pee my pants!

This is INSANE! So, some of you know that my sister and her hubby and 2 cats have moved in with me since they evacuated New Orleans.

Its been going great! I love having them - the source our stress? THE CATS!!!! I'm telling you, the little bastards are insane!

I have (3) cats, one outdoor (Sweetie Pie), one indoor (Gus), one that does both (Bunny Boo). Her cats are both (PoBoy and Pickle). Well, let's see. First, Poboy is on a special diet - see, he has major intestinal issues - he only has about 10% of the intestines he should - he has major crap problems and can only eat raw chicken mixed with some special powder. So, in order to feed all of them, they have to be segregated - Poboy can't eat the regular food or he'll crap everywhere! And he's not afraid to climb and jump and claw to get into something he's not supposed to eat! UGH! So that in itself causes "musical cats" - you have to know where he is at all times!

Now Pickle, will chew through bags of bread to get at it - so the bread is now on top of the oven or in the 'frig.

Gus can't leave a glass of water, can of pop, etc. alone..if you leave it within his reach, and he finds it, he'll knock it over just for the hell of it. Found out by sis the hard way of course. I have to put his water in a heavy ceramic dish or he'll knock it over in its entirety as well!

Pickle hides in weird places - I accidentally shut her in the kitchen cabinet (2x now)- how she even got in there I dont know, but she did. I heard this crazy scratching and followed the noise to the corner cabinet in the kitchen..open it up, there she is!

Bunny is such a pussy anyways - she just runs and hides wherever she can.

Poboy is loud as hell. He's always been vocal, but good lord! (he fell off a balcony in Nola when he was a kitten and we think he's brain damaged) Both sis and I were ready to duct tape his trap shut yesterday! OH, and he's already ripped off half of the cat door from the kitchen to the garage where the litter boxes are!

Oh, and Pickle desperately wants in the basement - she keeps pawing at the door, claws out of course, trying to get in there....and making that wierd ass Star Wars "ton ton" noise she makes!

Oh and yesterday Gus felt it was necessary to climb the fishing net on the wall in the computer room - more than once...and hang from it until I busted him!

Of course, there's the typical 'WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT A RE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE" from my cats to hers...hissing, growling, fighting for laps...Gus didnt eat for 2 days - finally I put some salmon juice on his food and he ate!

UGH...this is so nuts!!!